[apple-iphone] Help with Contacts and Calendars?

We are in the process or merging households and planning for a wedding. A
friend recently did the same thing and built a family contact list that is
exactly what I'm looking for. The only problem is that we do not have a
Mac so can't use the same setup she had. Here is what I'm hoping to do:

Build a single contact list that contains name, address, phone
number, birthdays, etc that is accessible from my iPhone as well as my
finace's iPhone. We both have iPhone 4s.

It would be even BETTER if we could set it up so that our family
could add names and addresses. (this is the setup my friend had, but, she
had a Mac as well as her mother in law)
In addition – we are trying to create a new calendar for wedding events
that we can subscribe our phones to but still keep our individual
calendars. Does anyone have any recommendations? We tried the google
calendar, it just didn't work for us… Are there other options??

Thank you,
Brandi

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